Dear Blog #10

Dreams, Environment, History, Just Me, Local news, News, Relationships, Religion, Technical, Wisdom 1 Comment

This weekend I was depressed.  I had bad dreams that people did not like me, so I took a gun and blew my head off.  I prayed real hard to have better dreams and I did, last night I dreamt that everybody liked me.  Weird huh?

Update on the future.  I figure 2012 will be interesting and people are tired of me talking about it.  I think those of us in Oklahoma are going to be ok, but that’s only a guess, I have nothing but hearsay to base it upon.  My X wife said she had a strong feeling and I also have a feeling.  Also based on a dream I had long ago that the earth shook really bad and we had no TV, radio or telephone.  The discrepancy is, there was no mention of the Internet in this dream and I’m not real sure if that is relevant, but I’m guessing we won’t have any Internet either.  This is my guess from my brief studies on the subject.  Planet X will be headed onto a path right at us or close to it.  As planet X follows this path it will go right thru the Asteroid belt, and when it does this, as it has done in the past, it will send asteroids in our direction, at least one will hit us.  This has happened before to our earth.  But as in the dream, we lived, but didn’t know what happened.   This could explain why it was before I was born I saw a mushroom cloud.  I always believed it was an atomic explosion but now I believe it might have been an asteroid slamming into the earth.  All of this makes me think of the Georgia Guide Stones.

I have moved in with my old girl friend who has always loved me, as I have learned a great and simple lesson.  Though we must try to love all, don’t leave behind those who love you the most, they deserve your most.  Don’t try to make friends with those who want nothing to with you, just like Jesus when faced by a town of people who wanted him to leave, who thought swine were more important than people, he just walked away, that’s what you got to do. 

I’ve bought my girl friend an engagement ring, we plan on getting married in May.  She has lost her job.  I hope she finds a job soon so that we can begin to make plans.  I will be a grandfather in February and I’m not sure how I feel about that.  I’m supposed to be happy, but the grandchild will live over a thousand miles away so what’s the point, just means I’m getting older, but I’ll pretend to be happy because that’s what I’m supposed to do.  We are supposed to visit in May when the child is baptised and please don’t comment about the value of children being baptised, I will not post it, it doesn’t matter.  I believe God appreciates it anytime we think of him, and yes I believe God is a him based on a dream I had, so leave that one alone also.  We don’t know, we really don’t, people should just be allowed to believe what they want, you don’t know, so how can you tell anybody that they are wrong, because you might find yourself turning around some day and saying, “they were right all along.”

If my girlfriend gets a job I will buy me a new computer, it will have a solid state hard drive, something I’ve been waiting for a very long time.  I thought hard drives that spin in circles at thousands of rpms just to give us our data was a joke and was always wondering when we would move out of the dark ages, finally, can’t wait to get my hands on it.  A job with the Coca Cola Company looks promising, I will pray.

This blog used to link with my facebook, recently that has not worked, I need to figure out why, but if this post doesn’t, well then I’ll have to do it my self.  My facebook name is Minister Roger Peacefulpoet.  Sounds corny I know, but that was the only way facebook would let me do it, as I have recently became an ordained minister.  I had to make my first name minister, it would not except reverend.

Emily, one of my friends on facebook just brought up a good point.  Whether or not the green house effect really has an effect on the climate is only one part of the problem, a lack of oxygen is causing people to become sick.  Recently it has been discovered by accident that a lack of oxygen causes paranoia in people.   I was at a party some time back and someone had mentioned how everyone is so paranoid these days, I said, “it was the lack of oxygen.”  Everyone laughed, they thought I told a joke.  The other problem is TV,  if you come to know me you’ll hear me blame a lot things on the TV, but it is to blame for a lot of things.  On TV, the glass is almost always half empty.  We seem to be attracted to that, but in the end, the hero always wins.  In the real world we are never faced with all this death and destruction, and while we imagine ourselves as being the hero, in real life, we can never be that person, because that person is acting and the story is never real, even when they call it reality tv.  So we look around us and expect those we like to be that imaginary hero.  When we look at others we will always compare them with those we encounter on tv, the good and the bad, and these are only people acting out characters that don’t even exist.  So when the earth shakes and the tv will no longer work, it will be a good thing, we will be forced to see each other and ourselves as we really are and stop pretending to be something else or expecting others to be different.  The hypnotic trance of consumerism will pass and we will have to find new ways to be happy.  Rather than buying new things and throwing old things away, we will learn the value of things, ultimately the value of each other.

Poem of The Day 12 21 09

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It’s Nothing Personal

If people don’t like you
They won’t like you
Can’t make them like you
No need to hurt eternal
Caus it’s nothing personal
Some like the cactus
Others the flower
Some want a butterfly
Others the life after life of the crow
What we know is
No one will like everyone
Some will like no one
Others will only like some one
No need for that hurt feel
No need to die
or wonder why
Reach as hard as you may
Can’t reach the sky
Building bridges to no where
Take you no place
Don’t matter no how
Just say, “Whatever”
Go on
Notice those who do care
If you can’t find anyone
There is one man who loves everyone
They call him the son
If there is no one else
Reach out to that one

By: Roger Harkness
12/21/2009

Poem of The Day 12 20 09

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Guilt By Default

My face smeared across the basement
A picture defaced
All goodness erased
In my disguise
I wait for peace to arise

Stepped on
I take a step down
Against an attack
I took a step back

My precious stones
polished for no one
Awaiting the rise
of the one they call the son

Some say I am wrong
But God knows I’ve hurt no one
I’ve loved, cared and shared
Ask for nothing from no one

Guilty they are ashamed
and make me the blame
Until proven innocent
Jesus sees all the same

By:  Roger Harkness
12/20/2009

STOP ONE TEAR TODAY

ACTION ITEM, Dreams, History, Just Me, News, No War, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Wisdom No Comments

Cindy Sheehan posted this on her Facebook and I thought I should repost it. Discouraged, Satan is the ruler of this world and we can’t change that. I tried to commit suicide and lived anyways and what the hell for. I’ll tell you why:

If I can stop one tear from falling today, I will have a good day. If you could stop one tear today, you can have a good day. If we all stopped one tear, we can all have a better day and the world can have a better day. We can never win, “BUT” we can make things better and that’s why we’re here.  So do your part and “STOP ONE TEAR TODAY”. Don’t give up like I tried to do.

Peace and Love
Roger

Poem of The Day – 10 20 09

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To My Enemies

To all my enemies
who find fault in all the little things
and ignore the big things
like love and caring
I am the great one
Not afraid to die
Not afraid to love

By:  Roger Harkness
10/20/09

Poem of The Day – 09 26 09

Poem, Poem of The Day, Relationships 1 Comment

Friendship

You need a friend
I understand
I need a friend
Understand
I have about
A million things that need to come out
You have emotions you want to feel
Daily, the world tries to kill
That’s what happens when a bird learns to fly
Its got to get loose
or face the noose of a rope
You can’t cope with being alone
You can’t stick around
I know the tone
Someday the song will mix with the music
The little lamb will find its mother
For now
We have to help each other

By:  Roger Harkness

Love Lessons

History, Just Me, Relationships, Religion, Wisdom 1 Comment

You want to hear something weird.  On the day that I tried to kill myself, there was a woman I knew about 6 years (correction: 8 years) ago who also tried to kill herself on that very same day.  Unlike me, having the pills all laid out in front of her, she changed her mind and strangely instead of dyeing like I was supposed to, I lived.  I wonder what would have happened if she decided to take those pills, we probably would have both died and it might of went like this.

Here I am standing before God, and God asks me, “What the hell did you do that for?”  I would reply, “nobody loves me.”  God would say, “Standing beside me here is a woman who loved you.”

She changed her mind and I lived.  Why did I live, maybe I got another chance.  I looked her up online and found her daughter on Facebook.  Contacted her daughter who gave me her mother’s phone number and we’re dating again.  In my lifetime I will have at least made one person happy, and that is worth living for.

Here’s the deal.  She loved me like no other women ever has and I dumped her in the dirt for someone else.  It had been done to me so I did it to her, a women who has never hurt me and I hurt her badly.  True, we did have an agreement, but I knew she loved me and I knew I would hurt her and yet I let her believe we would be forever and left her any ways.

She’s older than me, but you know what; Mohammed’s first wife, the woman it is said that he loved the most was 15 years older than him.  She proposed to him when he was 20 and he stayed with her, her whole life and when she died Mohammad was very sorry the day she had died.  So if an older women was ok for Mahammed, an older women is ok for me.  The women who has loved me the most and has never hurt me and has only been good to me, I have hurt the worst, yet she still loves me and is still good to me.  I don’t deserve her, but still she is mine.

A lesson I have learnt in my fifty years.  Such a simple lesson, yet I have been so slow to learn it.  Though we should love everyone, love those who love you the most, and you will live happy your whole life, no matter what terrible things may befall you.

Love
Roger

I’m Not Delusional

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I told my therapist about how I remember before I was born.  I was in a wonderful place where there was perfect peace that is indescribable. Looking down I saw awful things, fighting and murder and such, I can’t recall all the details but I do remember the last thing I saw was a mushroom cloud bellowing up. An older man with white hair, beard and moustache (who in my younger years I believed was Jesus) came to me and said, “It’s time to go.” I felt like I knew it was coming but I was hoping it wouldn’t happen. I just could not believe after seeing all this, I would be sent there, I was distressed so much that my inside shook and tears flowed from my eyes. Understanding my pain, the older man wanting to reassure me that I would be okay put his hand on my shoulder and said, “It will be Okay.” You figure my father who was abusive never hurt me and  I spent 14 years in the Navy and never even fired a gun.

So my therapist told me a story about when she was eight and had an out of body experience.  She was very sick lying on the coach and left her body. The pain went went away and she felt so wonderful.  She was told she had to return but didn’t want to but was gently forced to anyways.

There is a better place to be where we all love each other and there is peace and happiness. I tried to go back there but couldn’t, so I guess I’m here for a reason and may someday find out why, maybe I will know why in 2012.

But never the less, I’m not crazy just because I remember something others cannot.  Things greater then we can explain.

So there we go.

Love
Roger

To Those To Whom It May Concern

Just Me, Local news, News, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Wisdom No Comments

If you start a bridge on fire and then try to put the fire out, you might get burnt, but I wished you would have, I wished you could have and I thank you for the effort.

I know I have done some wrong, and if I ever hurt anyone, it was by accident, I never meant to hurt anyone.

I have been wronged too by some of you.

I may never be forgiven but I have forgiven everyone and hate no one and am happier for it, and you can be too if you chose too.

I regret that there are some who had a special place in my heart and are no longer reachable. But my porch light is always on and everyone is welcome.

Sincerely
Roger Harkness

Poem of The Day – 09 11 09

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What’s Inside Of You

Those who live long wish to die soon
Those about to die wish to live long
Its never right
Why is everything always wrong
So who wrote the rules
I have a few things to say to that one
They say be happy
So be happy
and they find something you did wrong
Then they will say
It is because we love you
What’s up with this always finding something wrong song
Just go on
Pay no attention
Nothing to see here
Except fear
Afraid to say what is on your mind
Afraid they will laugh at you for
A long long time
The straight road is square
Boring
A crooked road is wasteful
And I have a bucket full of things to save
No place to store them
Do you have room for me
Will you be my friend
Oh I’m sorry
Did I ask you to sin
You can blame me for what you feel
And I’ll take my pill
But there is a darkness inside of you
The light may never fill

By:  Roger Harkness
09/11/09

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