The Okcitykid – A Peaceful Vet

This weekend I was depressed.  I had bad dreams that people did not like me, so I took a gun and blew my head off.  I prayed real hard to have better dreams and I did, last night I dreamt that everybody liked me.  Weird huh?

Update on the future.  I figure 2012 will be interesting and people are tired of me talking about it.  I think those of us in Oklahoma are going to be ok, but that’s only a guess, I have nothing but hearsay to base it upon.  My X wife said she had a strong feeling and I also have a feeling.  Also based on a dream I had long ago that the earth shook really bad and we had no TV, radio or telephone.  The discrepancy is, there was no mention of the Internet in this dream and I’m not real sure if that is relevant, but I’m guessing we won’t have any Internet either.  This is my guess from my brief studies on the subject.  Planet X will be headed onto a path right at us or close to it.  As planet X follows this path it will go right thru the Asteroid belt, and when it does this, as it has done in the past, it will send asteroids in our direction, at least one will hit us.  This has happened before to our earth.  But as in the dream, we lived, but didn’t know what happened.   This could explain why it was before I was born I saw a mushroom cloud.  I always believed it was an atomic explosion but now I believe it might have been an asteroid slamming into the earth.  All of this makes me think of the Georgia Guide Stones.

I have moved in with my old girl friend who has always loved me, as I have learned a great and simple lesson.  Though we must try to love all, don’t leave behind those who love you the most, they deserve your most.  Don’t try to make friends with those who want nothing to with you, just like Jesus when faced by a town of people who wanted him to leave, who thought swine were more important than people, he just walked away, that’s what you got to do. 

I’ve bought my girl friend an engagement ring, we plan on getting married in May.  She has lost her job.  I hope she finds a job soon so that we can begin to make plans.  I will be a grandfather in February and I’m not sure how I feel about that.  I’m supposed to be happy, but the grandchild will live over a thousand miles away so what’s the point, just means I’m getting older, but I’ll pretend to be happy because that’s what I’m supposed to do.  We are supposed to visit in May when the child is baptised and please don’t comment about the value of children being baptised, I will not post it, it doesn’t matter.  I believe God appreciates it anytime we think of him, and yes I believe God is a him based on a dream I had, so leave that one alone also.  We don’t know, we really don’t, people should just be allowed to believe what they want, you don’t know, so how can you tell anybody that they are wrong, because you might find yourself turning around some day and saying, “they were right all along.”

If my girlfriend gets a job I will buy me a new computer, it will have a solid state hard drive, something I’ve been waiting for a very long time.  I thought hard drives that spin in circles at thousands of rpms just to give us our data was a joke and was always wondering when we would move out of the dark ages, finally, can’t wait to get my hands on it.  A job with the Coca Cola Company looks promising, I will pray.

This blog used to link with my facebook, recently that has not worked, I need to figure out why, but if this post doesn’t, well then I’ll have to do it my self.  My facebook name is Minister Roger Peacefulpoet.  Sounds corny I know, but that was the only way facebook would let me do it, as I have recently became an ordained minister.  I had to make my first name minister, it would not except reverend.

Emily, one of my friends on facebook just brought up a good point.  Whether or not the green house effect really has an effect on the climate is only one part of the problem, a lack of oxygen is causing people to become sick.  Recently it has been discovered by accident that a lack of oxygen causes paranoia in people.   I was at a party some time back and someone had mentioned how everyone is so paranoid these days, I said, “it was the lack of oxygen.”  Everyone laughed, they thought I told a joke.  The other problem is TV,  if you come to know me you’ll hear me blame a lot things on the TV, but it is to blame for a lot of things.  On TV, the glass is almost always half empty.  We seem to be attracted to that, but in the end, the hero always wins.  In the real world we are never faced with all this death and destruction, and while we imagine ourselves as being the hero, in real life, we can never be that person, because that person is acting and the story is never real, even when they call it reality tv.  So we look around us and expect those we like to be that imaginary hero.  When we look at others we will always compare them with those we encounter on tv, the good and the bad, and these are only people acting out characters that don’t even exist.  So when the earth shakes and the tv will no longer work, it will be a good thing, we will be forced to see each other and ourselves as we really are and stop pretending to be something else or expecting others to be different.  The hypnotic trance of consumerism will pass and we will have to find new ways to be happy.  Rather than buying new things and throwing old things away, we will learn the value of things, ultimately the value of each other.

Cindy Sheehan posted this on her Facebook and I thought I should repost it. Discouraged, Satan is the ruler of this world and we can’t change that. I tried to commit suicide and lived anyways and what the hell for. I’ll tell you why:

If I can stop one tear from falling today, I will have a good day. If you could stop one tear today, you can have a good day. If we all stopped one tear, we can all have a better day and the world can have a better day. We can never win, “BUT” we can make things better and that’s why we’re here.  So do your part and “STOP ONE TEAR TODAY”. Don’t give up like I tried to do.

Peace and Love
Roger

To My Enemies

To all my enemies
who find fault in all the little things
and ignore the big things
like love and caring
I am the great one
Not afraid to die
Not afraid to love

By:  Roger Harkness
10/20/09

You want to hear something weird.  On the day that I tried to kill myself, there was a woman I knew about 6 years (correction: 8 years) ago who also tried to kill herself on that very same day.  Unlike me, having the pills all laid out in front of her, she changed her mind and strangely instead of dyeing like I was supposed to, I lived.  I wonder what would have happened if she decided to take those pills, we probably would have both died and it might of went like this.

Here I am standing before God, and God asks me, “What the hell did you do that for?”  I would reply, “nobody loves me.”  God would say, “Standing beside me here is a woman who loved you.”

She changed her mind and I lived.  Why did I live, maybe I got another chance.  I looked her up online and found her daughter on Facebook.  Contacted her daughter who gave me her mother’s phone number and we’re dating again.  In my lifetime I will have at least made one person happy, and that is worth living for.

Here’s the deal.  She loved me like no other women ever has and I dumped her in the dirt for someone else.  It had been done to me so I did it to her, a women who has never hurt me and I hurt her badly.  True, we did have an agreement, but I knew she loved me and I knew I would hurt her and yet I let her believe we would be forever and left her any ways.

She’s older than me, but you know what; Mohammed’s first wife, the woman it is said that he loved the most was 15 years older than him.  She proposed to him when he was 20 and he stayed with her, her whole life and when she died Mohammad was very sorry the day she had died.  So if an older women was ok for Mahammed, an older women is ok for me.  The women who has loved me the most and has never hurt me and has only been good to me, I have hurt the worst, yet she still loves me and is still good to me.  I don’t deserve her, but still she is mine.

A lesson I have learnt in my fifty years.  Such a simple lesson, yet I have been so slow to learn it.  Though we should love everyone, love those who love you the most, and you will live happy your whole life, no matter what terrible things may befall you.

Love
Roger

If you start a bridge on fire and then try to put the fire out, you might get burnt, but I wished you would have, I wished you could have and I thank you for the effort.

I know I have done some wrong, and if I ever hurt anyone, it was by accident, I never meant to hurt anyone.

I have been wronged too by some of you.

I may never be forgiven but I have forgiven everyone and hate no one and am happier for it, and you can be too if you chose too.

I regret that there are some who had a special place in my heart and are no longer reachable. But my porch light is always on and everyone is welcome.

Sincerely
Roger Harkness

What’s Inside Of You

Those who live long wish to die soon
Those about to die wish to live long
Its never right
Why is everything always wrong
So who wrote the rules
I have a few things to say to that one
They say be happy
So be happy
and they find something you did wrong
Then they will say
It is because we love you
What’s up with this always finding something wrong song
Just go on
Pay no attention
Nothing to see here
Except fear
Afraid to say what is on your mind
Afraid they will laugh at you for
A long long time
The straight road is square
Boring
A crooked road is wasteful
And I have a bucket full of things to save
No place to store them
Do you have room for me
Will you be my friend
Oh I’m sorry
Did I ask you to sin
You can blame me for what you feel
And I’ll take my pill
But there is a darkness inside of you
The light may never fill

By:  Roger Harkness
09/11/09

The First American Lived Before Christ, In China

A poem I posted in November of last year I re-posted on my Facebook, because Confucius was a very smart man.  But there is something very strange that he does that I could never understand.

First of all, this was before television was invented, before the days that we were all brain washed, plus there was far more oxygen in the air and a whole lot less paranoia.   Even though they hadn’t gone to the moon or was driving SUVs, people were very smart about the important things, they had what science calls “common sense.”  Something that got lost I think when we invented SUVs, but I’m not certain about that.  Just trying to make you understand that intelegence was alive and well and Confucious was one of the wisest.

Confucious taught something that was very strange that I could not understand.  He would have men and women seperated, they were not allowed to even walk together.  Women had to walk on one side of the street and men on the other.  That seemed so ignorant and yet it came from such an intellagent man.

I’ve lived 50 years now and I see that nothing on this earth has hurt me more than women, yet, nothing on this earth have I loved more than women.  Now this is really strange.  It seems the more I love women the more I am hurt by them, yet it is love that they seek and it is love that I give.  This is a great mystery folks.  This falls right in there with rocket science, and I’m not a rocket scientist, so I’m just really confused.

Why is it that God made it so that men and women would want each other, yet be so different that they keep missunderstanding eachother and hurting one another.  It occured to me that inorder to survive, you’ve got to forgive, or you can’t live.  I’m telling you this is a fact.  You’re going to get sick and tired and probebly die of cancer if you don’t forgive those who hurt you.   So we are forced to learn to forgive or we won’t live.

Forgivness I believe is one of the greatest virtues there will every be.  Maybe Jesus didn’t exist, or like Islam believes, did not die on the cross.  No matter.  The story is full of moral.  The greatest story ever told, whether true or not.  After all the ugly things they had done to him, just before he dies, he says, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”  Simply amazing, and he teaches that we should be like him.  So maybe men and women were created so different so that we could learn to be more like the greatest story ever told.

If you can forgive those who have hurt you, you are a better person, and probably a happier person and a healtheir person than those who cannot forgive you.

My experience is: If someone believes you can’t make them stop believing no matter what you say or do.
If someone does not believe you cannot make them believe no matter what you say or do.

You cannot prove or disprove that God exists, it’s a fools argument and only fools argue it. Either you believe or you don’t and in the end after we breath our last breath, then will we know for sure.

But I don’t think God really cares what we believe or don’t. Somehow religion has moralised beliefs. As if beliefs are greater than actions. But I don’t believe that. I think when we are judged, we will be judged for our actions and not our beliefs. I strongly believe that there are atheists who will receive great rewards in heaven for there good works and think themselves unworthy because they never believed, while there will be believers who will be judged to lower heavens or even death being guilty for the evil they have done and yet think it unfair because they have always believed. Matthew 25:31 to Matthew 25:45

Let It Rain

I know not everybody has earned the right
They hide during the day
and come out at night
Pretend to be your friend
and then turn and bite
But someday
A few may
See the light

Clouds reflect the day light and know without doubt
And for them
Even at night the moon provides a little light
Pleading to us
Don’t leave us behind
Don’t leave us blind

Forgiveness rains down on dry ground
Dormant seeds bring forth life
And in just a day
Colorful flowers bloom everywhere
For all of us to share
Life lives

Take away the rain and the pain never washes away
and life never grows

Do a little rain dance for me
and I’ll say a little prayer for you
In the end
It is we who have won
And all the land
Will be colorful
For everyone

By: Roger Harkness
08/23/09

Ourself – A Part From Something Else

Study nature
The nature of ourselves
Not of them or they
But yourself

Two worlds
One on the inside
One on the outside
Nobody is immune
The outside infects the inside
While it is the inside that determines the outset
The outside expresses the inside
But the outside cannot understand the inside

Do the inside out
You’ll get wiped out
Do the outside in
you’ll never get in
Honesty is suicidal
In a dishonest world

Alone, on your own
You get stuck on yourself
It’s a dead end to nowhere
Being nothing

We live by the water
of our brother
We see thru the eyes
of our sister
Live by the wings of a dove
our mother
and the grace
of our father
The truth
Is in the heart

By: Roger Harkness